Parents Come In Pairs

I’m reading the Husband-Coached Childbirth for my Teacher Training Class. (Lots of homework due, so little time!)

The book is excellent for anyone who is preparing to give birth or who has an interest in the topic of natural birth.

Here’s a memorable quote from chapter 7, “The Coach’s Training Rules”:

“Parents come in pairs. If you think the only task you have as a parent is to get your wife pregnant, you’re going to be like the farmer who thinks all there is to farming is planting seeds. You will harvest only the weeds of resentment to your passivity. You are poorly prepared for parenthood and have yet to recognize your responsibilities….

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but don’t kid yourself, the hand that rocks the cradle still rules the world, and always will. Motherly women and fatherly men acting as wholesome symbols of strength and righteousness in a family setting of mutual love and respect continue to be essential to progress in any civilization.

The reaction your wife has to her pregnancy and the birth of your child will reflect on the relationship between mother and child forever after. Will she look upon childbearing as a horrifying ordeal that ruined her figure and seared her soul? … Or, will she joyfully share with you even the little nuisances involved and thank you for getting her pregnant and bless her God for the privilege of being a woman and of giving birth?…

You are going to live with this woman “until death do us part.” How rich, full and meaningful that life will be is very much dependent upon your ability as a participant in parenthood.
This does not exclude but takes precedence over the golf games, pool hall, poker game, CD player, computer, etc. Lets get on with it.”

(Preach it, brother!) :)

Psalm 139

This Psalm is one of my favorites. I go back to it often and apply it to many situations and aspects of life.

Today, I am thinking especially of verse 16, as two family friends are struggling to live and as there is an online friend whose sister in Brazil just caught a potentially fatal virus from a mosquito bite and is not doing well.

How comforting it is to remember, especially when those whom we love are ill, that it is the Lord who determines the length of one’s days and not the doctors.

Something to think about - how does remembering this affect the way that we respond when someone is ill? Personally? To the person whom is sick? To those whom we are comforting?

Psalm 139

1O LORD, You have searched me and known me.
2You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
You understand my thought from afar.
3You scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.
4Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, You know it all.
5 You have enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it.
7 Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
8 If I ascend to heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, You are there.
9If I take the wings of the dawn,
If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea,
10Even there Your hand will lead me,
And Your right hand will lay hold of me.
11If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me,
And the light around me will be night,”
12Even the darkness is not dark to You,
And the night is as bright as the day
Darkness and light are alike to You.
13For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
14I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
15My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
16Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.
17How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand
When I awake, I am still with You.
19O that You would slay the wicked, O God;
Depart from me, therefore, men of bloodshed.
20For they speak against You wickedly,
And Your enemies take Your name in vain.
21Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against You?
22I hate them with the utmost hatred;
They have become my enemies.
23Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
24And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.

I Prefer a Shot of Grape Juice

Tara Barthel introduced me to this song on her blog.

Musically, the song is a little bland to my ears (Of course, when reading my opinion, you must consider that my favorite genre is classic rock).

However, lyrically the song is culturally relevant and thought provoking.

As I watched and listened, I was reminded of something I often take for granted: how scary it is to live without Christ.

Christ is the Prince of Peace. Without Christ, there is no true peace. Peace is not something that can be something manufactured by following rules of tolerance or political correctness. These things only mask hurt, worry, rage and feelings of loneliness within.

Trying to live without Christ is like moving through life with a migraine headache. Every sound, ever movement is painfully magnified.

This goes for both non-Christians and for Christians who refuse to humble themselves before God and view him as Lord of their life.

To this end, I appreciated how New Law mentioned communion. Churches are oftentimes more concerned about the tolerance of aberration, and set the example of disregarding scripture by leading people in this way, than they are about offending God by changing the way they serve the Eucharist. When we are fully submitting to God, we don’t have to rationalize our actions or look for the loopholes. Wine means wine.

How tiresome it is to try justify ourselves to God. How tiresome it is to take on the attributes of God. How tiresome it is to try to earn our salvation or to “be saved” on our own terms. If this is the attitude that characterizes our lives, how can we really say we’re saved? Saved means saved. If we could do it on our own, we wouldn’t need saving.

The Bible says in Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

When we trust in God, we no longer have to be “bossed around by our fear.”(< -- link to a practical application of this thought)

1 John 4:17-19 "By this, love is perfected with us, so that we may have confidence in the day of judgment; because as He is, so also are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. We love, because He first loved us."

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How to Cook a Wolf

How to Cook a Wolf by M.F.K. Fisher, attacked my curiosity when I saw the title amongst the cookbooks at the local library.

(My faithful readers know that book titles have a strange power over me - sometimes with life changing results.)

First published in 1942, when wartime shortage were at their worst, the premise is learning to make due and, more importantly, be content with very little.

The “wolf” is a metaphor for the feelings of poverty, particularly the growling of an empty stomach.

Do you know anyone who lived through the Great Depression? Perhaps a mother or grandmother?

Reading this book is bringing back memories of my dear late grandmother-in-law, Trudy Seymour. My eyes well with tears even as I write her name. She was the queen of thriftiness. She scrimped, saved and rationed everything she had. Her basement was stocked with enough food to feed a small army, with everything from canned vegetables to Crystal Pepsi (that had been discontinued years before). She was also notably generous.

Maybe you have a Grandma Trudy in your life. This quote will make you love and appreciate them all the more:

There are very few men and women, I suspect, who cooked and marketed their way through the past war without losing forever some of the nonchalant extravagance of the twenties. They will feel, until their final days on earth, a kind of culinary caution: butter, no matter how unlimited, is a precious substance not lightly to be wasted; meats, too, and eggs, and all the far -brought spices of the world, take on a new significance, having once been so rare. And, that is good, for there can be no more shameful carelessness than with the food we eat for life itself. When we exist without thought or thanksgiving we are not men, but beasts.

For all the self-help books out there on the self-imposed woes of managing greed and excess, this book is convicting, refreshing and even freeing.

I’m only into the second chapter, “How to Be Sage Without Hemlock”, which deglamorizes the influence of *”slick magazines” on the housewife. Instead of making simple, hearty meals, wives are faced with the panic of trying to fashion a gourmet experience at every meal. Fisher writes about the expectation that it creates, even in our young children. She noted that children growing up with plenty say things like “what kind of pudding will we have after dinner?” as if they have a right to dessert.

She writes about meal planning rituals, “You read magazine articles filled with complicated charts and casual references to thiamin, riboflavin, non-organic nutritional nutritional essentials and International Units. You try to be serious about them all, and with a dictionary and a pencil you fill in at least the first week on a monthly chart, putting little circles, triangles and arrows for minerals and vitamins and such, until you see practically the same chart in a rival magazine and realize that it has switched symbols on you.”

While her words may seem harsh and even cynical, I do think they are a wake up call. How true are her words! I confess that I have been brought to tears while hiding behind my stacks of magazines and cookbooks, wishing that I had more free time. I do believe that women should strive for excellence as they serve their family - but as I read this, I am convicted that it may not have to involve a trip to both Wegmans and Trader Joe’s to find expensive, rare ingredients for each everyday meal on the menu.

Her answer is to create simple, healthy meals (for which she provides recipes throughout the book) and to have so much simple food on the table that people can concentrate on the fellowship and not on being amateur food critiques.

Better is a dish of vegetables where love is
Than a fattened ox served with hatred.
- Proverbs 15:17

* This is unbelievably funny to me - at the same time I was writing this, my husband was upstairs making this comment on my Martha Stewart magazine collection. And no, dear, if you’re reading this, it does not necessarily follow from the above epiphany that I will be canceling my subscription any time soon ;-)

How often when they find a sage,
As sweet as Socrates or Plato;
They hand him hemlock for his wage,
Or bake him like a sweet potato!

-from Taking the Longer View by American humorist Don Marquis

Tabitha’s Threat

In the end, Tabitha enjoyed reading the first part of Meet Kaya and excitedly described the book to her father over dinner last night.

But it was quite a different story yesterday afternoon when Tab declared in her Monster Voice, “I’m going to go live at Aunt Diana’s. This house is WORSER than I thought. I’m going to have a step mother and step father: Diana and Steve,” upon being asked to finish her reading assignment.

Aunt Diana’s response, which I loved:

——– Original Message ——–
Mon Jan 14 15:18:30 2008
From: Steve&Diana
Subject: Re: Tab’s threat

Tell her I’m terrible and would give her TWO reading assignments and have her clean her room!

Love you guys!

Diana ( a.k.a. “Meanest mommy ever” - Ian around age 4)

This exchange provided an opportunity to talk about making threats and saying words to intentionally hurt someone, and the importance of being diligent in our school work. We must strive to glorify God in do all things, including our attitudes, speech and work ethic.

(From my inner monologue) Fine. Maybe I should complain a little less about washing dishes. And, while I’m at it, maybe I should stop waiting until every single dish we own is piled up in the sink before I begin. There, I said it.

Prayers Offered in the State of Dryness

While shaking my fist at my oven tonight (I need to recalibrate the temperature - it runs, I’m guessing, about 50 degrees too hot) for burning my homemade onion & rye bread, I was listening to audio from one of Pastor Strawbridge’s archived sermons from March of last year entitled, “The Spiritual Discipline of Prayer”.

At the end of the sermon, Strawbridge read a quote from C.S. Lewis’ Screwtape Letters that stuck with me enough to replay the audio and jot it down. The quote encourages Christians to pray even when we feel far from God or don’t feel like praying.

As you read this excerpt, bear in mind that it is written from the point of view of the devil teaching another devil how to tempt a new Christian. When the devil refers to “our cause”, it is the cause of getting Christians to fall away from the Lord. The “Enemy” is, in this context, referring to God.

Now it may surprise you to learn that in His efforts to get permanent possession of a soul, He relies on the troughs even more than on the peaks; some of His special favorites have gone through longer and deeper troughs than anyone else. The reason is this. To us a human is primarily food; our aim is the absorption of its will into ours, the increase of our own area of selfhood at its expense. But the obedience which the Enemy demands of men is quite a different thing.

Hence the prayers offered in the state of dryness are those which please Him best. We can drag our patients along by continual tempting, because we design them only for the table, and the more their will is interfered with the better.

Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy’s will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.

*Trough
Pronunciation: \ˈtrȯf, ˈtrȯth, by bakers often ˈtrō\

2 a: A conduit, drain, or channel for water; especially : a gutter along the eaves of a building b: a long and narrow or shallow channel or depression (as between waves or hills); especially : a long but shallow depression in the bed of the sea — compare trench

Fellowship Without Forgiveness: Impossible

This is today’s Purpose Driven Life Daily Devotional. Wow. So simple, so profound. If you want to read it from it’s original source, click here.

Fellowship Without Forgiveness: Impossible
by Jon Walker

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

Fellowship without forgiveness is impossible.

As believers, we’re called “to settle our relationships with each other.” (2 Corinthians 5:18 MSG) We need to consistently forgive others and receive forgiveness from others, or we’ll “give up in despair.” (2 Corinthians 2:7 CEV)

Whenever we’re hurt by someone, we have a choice to make: Will we focus on retaliation or resolution?

The Bible speaks candidly about settling the score: “Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.” (1 Thessalonians 5:15 NIV)

In God’s economy, it’s not enough to say we won’t seek revenge; we’re to press into the very heart of forgiveness, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave us. (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

The Bible is very clear that forgiveness is not optional for the Christ-follower. God sets this high standard because he knows how much is at stake in your life: Bitterness and unforgiveness are a cancer that eventually will destroy you from the inside out. Forgiveness is the scalpel that removes the tumor.

This doesn’t mean you’ll always be able to immediately forgive and be done with it. As you become more and more Christ-like, that will become possible, but for now you may have to work at forgiving someone who has hurt you in a particularly painful way. In other words, you may forgive this person but soon begin to feel a root of unforgiveness growing in your heart.

When this occurs, you can go to King Jesus and ask him to help you with this cycle. He will help you release the offender, and the Holy Spirit will guide you in your effort.

A major point here is that forgiveness is a choice you can make. The power of God, working within you, means you no longer have to remain a slave to unforgiveness or bitterness.

In Colossians, the Apostle Paul provides the basis and motivation for forgiveness: “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.” (Colossians 3:13 NLT). When we remember the price Jesus paid to forgive us, how can we not forgive? (Romans 5:8)

What now?

  • When you forgive, you’re not pretending it didn’t hurt – Forgiveness means you no longer hold the offense against the offender. It means you’ve pardoned the debt, and you’ve intentionally chosen to release the one who hurt you. We’re to love deeply, because “love covers over a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8 NIV)
  • Stop right now and talk to God – Have an honest conversation with God about someone you need to forgive. Our heavenly Father knows that it’s not easy to let go of our hurts, but he will give you the grace to forgive.
  • Be honest with God – Cry out to God; tell him exactly how you feel. He won’t be surprised or upset by your anger, hurt, insecurity, or bitterness.
  • If you feel like you are despairing, my parting thought is this: “Is there someone I need to seek forgiveness from or someone I need to forgive?” I love the part in the devotional that reminds us that God “won’t be surprised or upset by your anger, hurt, insecurity, or bitterness.”

    Many times we avoid pouring our heart out to God by praying little one-line prayers that redirect attention away from our own hearts or only scratch the surface. When we do this, we are only giving lip-service to God - we are not placing our full trust in Him. This is a symptom of pride in our hearts - thinking we can do a better job than God. It is only when we humbly place our trust in God’s power, acknowledging that we cannot forgive or seek forgiveness by our own strength, that we can unreservedly pour out our hearts (to God AND to those with whom we are in conflict!) and get to the root.

    We don’t have to be afraid to tell God what we have done or how hurt we are - He already knows. He LOVES us and will give us the strength to seek forgiveness and forgive others. We can boldly seek forgiveness from others because our eternal debt has been paid through Christ’s sacrifice in our place - this takes the impossible weight off of the restoration process. We must forgive others and be restored to them because we have been forgiven an eternal debt and restored to God the Father through Christ’s sacrifice.

    By the way, here’s a perspective-changing article on the difference between seeking mercy and seeking grace.

    And, for further information on how to be at peace with others, check out the resources at Peacemaker Ministries.

    Tagged - Currently Reading Meme

    My friend Susan tagged me!

    meme break…You have to open the book you’re currently reading on page 161 and read the fifth sentence on the page, then think of 5 bloggers to tag with…. I’m tagging my last five commenters…

    Now, Susan will tell you that I need to read more FICTION for the imagination… and she’s right! Here she has caught me, once again, reading NON-fiction ;-)

    This is an excerpt from a letter by Alexander Hamilton, Philadelphia, May 26, 1792, to Edward Carrington, as documented in the book Something That Will Surprise The World: The Essential Writings of the Founding Fathers, edited by Susan Dunn.

    “As to the first point, the evidence of Mr. Madison’s sentiments, at one period, is to be found in the address of Congrees, of April twenty-sixth, seventeen hundred and eighty-three, which was planned by him, in the conformity to his own ideas, and without any previous suggestions from the committee, and with his hearty co-operation in every part of the business.”

    I’m also reading There Goes The Hood: Views of Gentrification from the Ground Up by Lance Freeman, and African American man who studied city revitalization efforts in Harlem and Clinton Hill, Brooklyn. The book is less than a year old and is published by Temple University Press in Philly.

    This topic is extremely fascinating to me, especially in light of the recent revitalization efforts happening here in Coatesville.

    Eek… the following quote does need some context. This is from chapter six, “Implications for Planning and Policy” under a section entitled, “Are Residents of Other Gentrifying Neighborhoods Likely to Be Cynical Towards Gentrification?” Prior to this quote, the author points out past experiences of “oppression and resentment” over mishandled revitalization efforts that left families displaced.

    There is ample evidence that this cynicism is the accepted wisdom in many parts of the black community.

    It’s fun to see what others are reading… I’m curious what Emeth, Miwaza, Elrena, Tara, and Tom (crossing my fingers, hoping he’s game!) are reading… so consider yourselves TAGGED! :) Maybe I’ll get some inspiration from then for my next trip to the library. <– (Check out this link! It will change the way you use your local library.)

    Who are the Patriots?

    This is LONG… but if you want to listen to/watch Ron Paul speak while following along, go to this link: http://www.ronpaullibrary.org/document.php?id=571

    HON. RON PAUL OF TEXAS
    Before the U.S. House of Representatives

    May 22, 2007

    In the Name of Patriotism (Who are the Patriots?)

    For some, patriotism is “the last refuge of a scoundrel.” For others, it means dissent against a government’s abuse of the people’s rights.

    I have never met a politician in Washington, or any American for that matter, who chose to be called “unpatriotic.” Nor have I met anyone who did not believe he wholeheartedly supported our troops wherever they may be.

    What I have heard all too frequently from various individuals is sharp accusations that because their political opponents disagree with them on the need for foreign military entanglements, they were “unpatriotic, un-American, evil doers deserving contempt.”

    The original American patriots were those individuals brave enough to resist with force the oppressive power of King George. I accept the definition of patriotism as that effort to resist oppressive state power. The true patriot is motivated by a sense of responsibility, and out of self interest — for himself, his family, and the future of his country — to resist government abuse of power. He rejects the notion that patriotism means obedience to the state.

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    Mushy Mushy

    * WPG2 Plugin Not Validated *

    Not to be confused with a Japanese telephone greeting :D

    Today I received the sweetest mushy email from my Tom!

    It’s a good thing he wasn’t here, because I would have attacked him with kisses and hugs.

    My five year old read it over my shoulder and gave me a big hug. “Isn’t Dad nice?” she said.

    Although it made MY toes warm, it’s tame enough to share.

    So I am.

    Because I love him.

    Thank you for packing my lunch.

    Thank you for helping me find my cigar cutter.

    Thank you for washing the dishes.

    Thank you for making dinner every night.

    Thank you for getting me a towel.

    Thank you for having clean clothes for me.

    Thank you for finding my contact lenses.

    I love you, Sarah…